Long time, no blog!! I have missed my blog oh so much. It has been over a month since I've sat down to put my thoughts into words.. Not only have I been unbelievably busy, but my thoughts have been all over the place. Just when I think I know what to say, I hear or read or experience something else to consider.
My last 2 posts were about my struggle to be completely fulfilled with Christ and truly longing to be in His eternal presense. Boy, when I need direction, God surely supplies! My world, along with so many others, was completely rocked when Micayla Patterson went home to be with Jesus a few weeks ago... Of course everyone that knows Micayla is heartbroken, but more importantly we are all looking forward to the day we can see her again, and we are confident that God's perfect will is in action. This situation made it unbelievably clear that I should be so prepared and excited to be with Christ! This world is full of disapointment and heartache - Oh I long to be in heaven.
Lately, several friends have remarked on how I have been looking tired, or how I seem down or not myself.. Not only have I been physically exhausted from school, but I just allow myself to feel bad for myself. I find myself pleading the system that is my life for a break! And amidst all the late nights, early morning, and days packed full of school work and struggling to make time for my family and friends, I have completely neglected my Father, who can supply the only true relief! Yesterday morning, I had a little break down, and finally came to my senses. I put aside my studying and my working out. I sat at my desk, read my Daily Dose of Spurgeon (This man's commentary blows my mind!), and got in the Word. The passage Spurgeon wrote about was when I am weary, God lights my candle and no one can blow it out. I started journaling my prayer and asked God to set my candle on fire! And then I realized - He has probably been standing behind me this whole time, trying to get my attention, holding the match, and I haven't turned around to hold my candle out to Him! Humbling revelation. And the closing to Spurgeon's writing was, "Further on, in His own good time, I shall be where they need no candle, neither light of the sun. Hallelujah!" What a perfect reminder of how wonderful Heaven will be. When I learn to immediately rely on him instead of worrying, or getting angry and frustrated? God is ALWAYS there ready and willing to supply what I need, and instead of praying the He fulfill His promises , I need to wake up! He isn't holding out on me - I've been ignoring Him.
It has been a month of hard work, tears, and frustration, but moreover, a time of revelation from the Lord. God has done an excellent job of reminding me that this is not my home. So here I am, truly saying "Lord Jesus, come quickly!"
I don't know if any of these thoughts made the least bit of sense to any reader, but after a month of listening, thinking, reading, and praying, this is what I have come up with. I hope that you are all having a beautiful week and remembering to rejoice in Him always. Loves.